You Know You're 40 When...

By nature I have always been a bit of a “glass half empty” kind of girl. I have a logical mind and am pretty much a realist.  As I've grown in my faith and in wisdom I've learned to become a bit more of a “glass half full” kind of girl.  I have learned that it was far more beneficial for my attitude (and let’s be honest, and for the happiness of those around me).  Lately though, as I've entered into my forties I've realized I've become more of a “where the heck did I leave my glass” kind of girl.  And let me tell you, it’s a shock to my once organized, in the details mind. It’s annoying and it’s hysterical. 

The blessing in it all is that through this transition I've learned that I get to choose which one it will be, fully acknowledging that some days the choice is easier than others.  Still as a result I've found it to be much more tolerable to be positive. So to encourage my fellow forty somethings, here's a little bit of comedic relief to offer you perhaps a new perspective of the unavoidable changes in life.

Yes, it is annoying when you get to church and realize upon crossing your legs that only one of them got shaved, or perhaps find that conditioner was still left in your hair, BUT think of all the extra time you saved that allowed you to look for your keys.

Yes, it’s annoying when you have to try on 8 pairs of pants to find one that fits BUT I am confident that all that one legged hopping around and squatting to stretch them out has to be worth at least the 600 calories worth of ice cream you will eat that night.

Yes, it’s annoying when you forget where you hid things so your children wouldn't find them BUT this way you get to celebrate Christmas year round! The kids always love a mid-summer sweater or scarf still in its bag with tags on.

Yes, it's annoying that you now can't read without glasses for farsightedness But at least you get to go into denial about that long hair you can't see in the mirror that is growing on your chin.

Yes, it’s annoying when you are scheduled for one medical test after the other BUT it is kind of fun to say words that end with “opy”…endoscopy, laparoscopy, colonoscopy.  You can almost create a fun little riddle or jingle. And, opy is easy to remember so technically you can just add it on to the end of whatever word you choose and most people will not even know the difference.

Yes it’s annoying to accept the reality of never being able to jump on a trampoline again BUT let’s be real who can really afford anymore co pays anyway?

Yes, it’s annoying to have hormonal waves of anxiety and irritability BUT…BUT…well, I've got nothing for this one let's just go with yes, it is annoying!

Yes, it’s annoying when you forget to pick up your children and they are left stranded for an extra hour, BUT it’s so beneficial for them to learn to appreciate that at least they didn't have to walk 5 miles up a hill to school every day in the snow.

Finally, yes it’s annoying to literally forget everything BUT to finally learn that life still goes on when you are not in control of everything is invaluable.

At the end of the day dear friends, despite the similarity between turning 40 and running into a brick wall, life will always be what you make it. So I say, laugh till you pee, strut the extra 10lbs of belly fat, let go of all that you forget and enjoy what you do remember,  rock the one shaved leg, and appreciate the excitement in finding all the random things you've misplaced throughout the year (well except the milk in the cupboard, that’s never good).  Enjoy the ride friends, enjoy the ride! 40 is beautiful!!!

Blind Eye

It's not always easy being gifted with mercy.  I cry at every movie, tv show or commercial involving anything with pain, puppies or children leaving for college. I also grieve with people, I hurt when they hurt and I sometimes find myself desperately searching for ways to help when there simply are none. My gift of mercy is also coupled with a very passionate personality and if something touches my heart it becomes very difficult for me to leave it alone. And today, once again an issue I am passionate about has touched my heart...Human Trafficking.

This article showed up today and it grieves my heart. http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/07/29/fbi-rescues-at-least-105-child-prostitutes-in-nationwide-undercover-operation/ This is unacceptable my friends.  Children on OUR streets, the streets of a free nation, being sold for sex. We're not talking about Cambodia or Kenya, we're talking about Atlanta, Charlotte, Tampa.  Trust me, I also have much to say about the same issue in foreign countries. 

This should outrage us but I have to ask why it doesn't?  

I believe everyone of us reading this article and this blog would find the act of sex slavery despicable.  So why is it so easy to turn a blind eye to it?  In my view, I believe it's because we feel so separated from it. But are we? Sure, we're not buying these girls, nor are we selling them, but perhaps as a nation we are giving this industry its roots and and it's fuel...and I believe we are doing that, with dare I say it, pornography.

Do you realize that as a nation we spend more on porn than it would cost to end world hunger?  Sex slavery exists like every other business because of supply and demand and we are creating that very demand.

A sweet young friend of mine recently went on a trip to Cambodia to fight against this issue as she served in a home that rescued girls as young as 5. Yes, 5. Here's what she had to say in her blog, "It is no secret in Cambodia that sex is a big thing that the Westerners want. Most of the time, it is safe to assume that a Western, white man with a younger Khmer girl is only using her for that evening. It is sickening". You can read more at http://bemymagnificentobsession.blogspot.com/2013/06/what-its-like.html

Young rescued girls of Cambodia

For something that seems so innocent and personal, it isn't.  It's demoralizing and objectifying to a woman. It's easy to click on a link, pick up a magazine or enter a club, but I have to ask, would it still be easy if you knew that woman was a daughter, a once little girl who used to play dress up, play with dolls and have big dreams?  Or maybe a girl who was thrown out like trash by a family who didn't know how or even desire to care for her? Perhaps even a little one innocently playing and then being snatched up by a predator. Do you think it would be as easy to look at her if you were able to see her heart as well as her body?  A heart, raw and broken believing she is nothing, unlovable or useless. Well, I don't. 

What else does pornography do? It dehumanizes people and it deceives them.  It also kills marriages and relationships. It no longer sits hidden under a mattress or in a drawer, it comes to you, straight to your inbox and through your television. It removes all value to the peered upon one and it deceives the onlooker. I have never met a woman who had big dreams to become involved with porn, nor have I ever met a man who sought out to become addicted to it. But yet, they both happen. Every. Single. Day.  Let's not even discuss the chemical changes it creates in your body causing an ever increasing demand for more and for different.  Yes, there are sick predators in this world, but there are also normal every day people who have become so chemically altered and addicted that are doing far more offensive things than they ever could have imagined...thus the leap from porn to sex slavery.

As much as I could go on, I will close with this. I'm not naive to think that everyone reading this is immune to the deception of porn.  It may very well be an issue within your own home. I'm also not naive enough to think that everyone will share my views and in fact, some may very well find me extreme. However, if porn has made it's way in your home, would you consider kicking it out? Even if you feel it's harmless, there's nothing, absolutely nothing positive it will add.  Let's not be known as the nation that feeds the selling of young girls and spends billions on pornographic materials. Also, if you find me too conservative, well, that's ok. I'm a mother of 3 daughters who would give her life for them and if I know there are daughters out there in the world who need me, well then, here I am. Told ya that gift of mercy is a difficult one!

So, let's not turn a blind eye to the issue of sex slavery but instead go ahead and turn a blind eye to pornography and quit viewing it. 

PS. Not to self promote, just a passion for the issue, if you or a spouse does indeed have a problem please seek the help . We'd be honored to walk alongside you at www.firstcarecc.com . Not sure if it's a problem in your life, explore that here http://www.xxxchurch.com/

       

Once Again

Once again I am astounded by the grace of my husband.  Well after his normal time to leave for work in the morning he reappears into our bedroom. Apparently his delay in going to work was because of his venture looking for his shoes.  After a brief discussion it came to be known that I had accidentally sold them at our garage sale this weekend.  Um, does oops cover that?  And, did I mention that his favorite pair of shoes were sold for a mere $2?  Yikes!

The night before I had washed all the shoes that we were going to sell (in response to what my husband likes to refer to as my department store garage sale). I guess I had noticed his shoes needed washing as well so I lumped them in with all the rest.  Long story short, they made it into the sell pile and were gone right away (duh, awesome shoes for $2!).  Instantly upon this revelation I felt awful and instantly I was also ready to defend myself.  Want to know why I didn't? I didn't because of the graciousness of my husband.  There he stood, shoeless, late for work with a wife who had sold his shoes right out from under him and is all he has to say is " That's okay baby" and then proceeds to give me a kiss, put on some old shoes and head out the door. In this moment I realize that how he responded is not even close to how I would have responded had he sold my favorite shoes. Better yet, I later get a text from him telling me that they are just shoes, he probably need a new pair anyway and appreciating that I noticed they were dirty and washed them. Such humbling, convicting  and yet soothing words to a wanna be defensive heart.

So my friends, as I ponder again today I know that once again the grace of my husband has changed me. It has been his patience and grace throughout the years that has changed me, strengthened our marriage and made him my best friend and biggest role model. You see, when I came into our marriage I was hot headed, quick to speak and quick to anger. My guard was always up and I had justifications and defenses within arms reach all the time. As much as I was prepared for battle he consistently met my rage with patience and love, and a few firm boundaries. 

All of this just reminds me of how powerful grace can be.  His grace upon me led me to stew in my anger and get uncomfortable enough to change. If he fought back it would feed my justifications and give me motive to keep fighting. Instead he just met my anger with patience.  Let me tell you, it is no fun being the angered one with no self-control next to the strong, patient one.  Every single time his grace causes me to reflect on  my own behavior and on my own heart.  His grace re-directs my sense of justification, entitlement and selfishness....every.single.time. I hate the way it makes me feel and yet I love it.  I hate it because it screams that I am wrong or out of control, it highlights my flaws. I love it because it changes me.

As for my husband, I sold his favorite shoes and he forgave me without blinking an eye. I 
spent years yelling, fighting and complaining and he held firm in love and showed me the way to self-control and humility.  As for my God, I let Him down every single day and He meets my shortcomings with His grace. I led a life of sin and selfishness and He met that with His perfect life being penalized to the fullest on a cross of crucifixion.  I will never lead a sinless life and yet He always meets me with His grace. Always.  My dear friends, this should change us.  "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners Christ died for us" Romans 5:8 

Let His grace today cause you to reflect on your own life.  Let it cause your heart to soften and desire to become more like Him.  Grace is not a trait of the meek and mild, it is a trait of the loving, the powerful and the strong.  Get it, grow in it and give it. 

Lastly, for the record I did manage to save my husband's favorite childhood picnic blanket!