David and YOUR Giant

David and Goliath, an age old story filled with such new and fresh revelation.  Allow me to set the scene. A war seemed unavoidable.  The army was equipped with weaponry and armor and fully prepared for battle.  The problem arose when the enemy changed the plan.  This wasn’t to be a battle between armies but instead it was to be a battle between champions.  The biggest, the strongest and the fiercest competitors were going to battle it out.  The winner would become the champion of their nation and the losing team would become their servants. A lot was on the line and truth being told, the enemy opponent was bigger, like “over nine feet tall” bigger.  “He had a bronze helmet on his head and wore a coat of scale armor of bronze weighing 5000 shekels (125lbs) (1 Samuel 17:5)”.  Not only was he bigger, he was aggressive and continuously taunting.  He tormented the opposing nation day and night for 40 days.  Yelling and screaming and throwing down a challenge to fight, a challenge that not one from the fully armed and armored team was up for, that is until David comes along.

 

 David was a young shepherd boy who was not even supposed to be there.  He was delivering food to his war fighting brothers.  During his brief visit this 9ft tall enemy, named Goliath, made an appearance and once again made his threats.  The army of men once again retreated in fear.  But David was different.  He knew this enemy was not just after the army of men, he was also after their God.  The men retreated because they knew that despite all of their experience, armor and weapons that none of them were capable of beating such a giant, none of them would come out a champion in this battle.  But David, he believed differently.  The only experience he brought to the table was his stories of defending his sheep by fighting lions and bears with his bare hands, and as far as weapons go, he was equipped with only a sling and a handful of rocks. What David knew that the other men forgot was that this battle was not one he would be fighting but instead this battle was the Lord’s.

To sum up the story that most are familiar with, David went to battle. He refused the armor that was provided for him and with just a hand full of rocks and a sling shot, he courageously charged the taunting giant enemy.  He didn’t wait to be approached, he looked directly at his enemy and said “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD ALMIGHTY, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied” (1 Samuel 17:45), and then he ran directly at him and with the sling of one rock, he silenced the giant opposing enemy with a blow right smack in the middle of the head. It was with the sling of that one rock and the trembling ground from the collapse of a giant that “the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel”. And with that, God was the Champion.   

All of this, once again, begs me to ponder.  David was a mere young man, a lowly shepherd, the youngest brother, much like we are mere humans, housewives, businessmen, mothers and fathers, anything other than warriors.  He was not a mighty warrior either, BUT, he sure knew one didn’t he?  David seemed to remember the very thing that is so easy for me and others to forget.  He remembered that the battle was not his, it was God’s.

Just like the Israelites and David, we all have enemies too.  Sometimes it’s exhausting fighting them and at other times we never even go to battle because we don’t seem to stand a chance, so instead we cower.  We become servants of the enemy that taunts us. After all, it is in our face screaming and yelling and towering above us.  It taunts, it makes fun and it reminds us of how little we are.  But, just as David yelled back at his enemy, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD ALMIGHTY, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied!”, we need to be reminded that we can yell back too. 

We can say to our enemies, “You come against me with fear and anxiety but I come against you in the name of the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY!”

“You come against me with threats against my health and debts larger than my checkbook, but I come against you with the name of the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY!”

“You come against me with depression and grief but I come against you in the name of the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY!” 

Do you get it?  Can you feel the power welling up inside you just as you read this?  That is God. He is our champion and mighty warrior, He can handle our battles.  We need only to pick up the sling shot and a rock. It doesn’t matter if we are little boy shepherds facing ginormous giants, because let’s be real, some of our enemies are indeed giant, but our enemy will always be smaller than our God.  We, like David, need to find the courage and face our enemies instead of cowering down to them and becoming their slaves.  God has called us to be free in Him.  It's time we pick up our slingshots of truth that is found in the word of God and get in the face of our enemy and run after it screaming all the way that he will not defy your God!  Let the Lord fight your battles dear friends.  And when He wins, because He will, your life will show that He indeed is God.              

So today, figure out your enemy.  Is it depression, is it grief, is it fear, or is it generational bondage? Fill in the blanks above and yell back.  Whatever it is, don’t allow it to torment you day and night and don’t allow it to threaten you into submission.  It’s a battle that God has already won for you.  Stand against it and claim the victory.  And lastly, for the record, not only did the giant die, David also cut off his head and fed his carcass to the birds and animals. Spiritually speaking, feel free to do that as well!

 

      

A Love Like HIS

It was 19 years ago today that I counted down the hours to become Mrs. Bailey.  As excited as I was I could not even begin to fathom how my life was about to change. I knew it would be filled with humor, fun and friendship, but I had no idea that it would be filled with the most gentle, refining, life changing hardcore love.  Sure, marriage has its challenges and ours has been no different.  However, those challenges are meant to serve a purpose and I had a great man who taught me just that.  He loved me like Christ loves His bride.  Always has and I am confident he always will. He shows me scripture.

 

When I was so mean and angry for the first several years he showed me grace and forgiveness.  He loved me.

When I was pregnant and sick with IV’s stuck in my arm for many months at a time, every.single.pregnancy, he cared for me.  He cleaned me up, he held my hair back, and he took care of me in ways I never dreamt I would need to be taken care of. He loved me.

When I was flustered and emotionally out of control raising three little girls, he calmed me.  He stepped in, he bathed our kids, and he sang to them and read to them and could take care of their needs without an ounce of my help.  He loved me.

When I was exhausted, he vacuumed, he did the dishes, he folded laundry and he never said a word about a messy house.  He loved me.

When my entire past caught up with me and I completely fell apart needing years to regain what was lost and repair what was damaged, he sat with me.  No matter how late it was, no matter how early he had to wake up, he still sat there and held me.  He was patient guide out of the darkness and he was my soft place to fall.  He loved me.

When I worked and missed my children he provided and allowed me to be the stay at home mom I always dreamt of being.  He worked, he delivered flowers, he delivered phone books, he did whatever was necessary to provide so my heart could be fulfilled. He loved me.

When our future was scary and his good paying job was no more, he led us.  He moved our family despite his fears and worries and I knew no matter what, we would be okay simply because of his presence and the strength that was in it.  He loved me.

When I was riddled with fear in the next phases God was calling me to, He encouraged me.  He was always my number one fan cheering me on.  He gave me reason to overcome.  He loved me.

When I cried at every first and last day of school and loose tooth or first dance, he simply held my hand and listened.  He always allowed me to go down memory lane. He loved me.

When I was injured and overcome with disabling ailments and injuries he once again took care of me.  He rubbed my aches, soothed my pain, again at all hours of the day and night.  He loved me.

When I fell apart when our daughter went off to college, he told me I was a wonderful mom.  He assured me of her need for me still.  He loved me.

When I was overcome with sadness and joy when that same said daughter got married, his love for her during her entire life assured me that her husband would love her like he did.  He loved me.

And now as I have two more daughters almost out the door and knowing that our home will soon become less filled with noise, he assures me of his need for me too.  He shows me his need to be my best friend, to laugh with, to play with and to one day travel with, all while changing the world.  This man has shown me Jesus like no other and he shows me that our lives together are only just at the beginning.  Our journey together has taken me through the lowest valleys and the highest mountains and I am so grateful for the love of my husband. And for the love he has for his Savior.  God is the glue in our marriage.  He is the steadfast rock that has allowed my husband to be all of those things.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this man will always love me, if for no other reason than because the God he loves so dearly has commanded him to and He has formed a covenant between us that my husband will not allow to be broken. And that is how he loved me and loves me still.

Forever holding your hand and walking by your side,

Happy Anniversary to my most precious gift, Christopher. I love you! 

 

 

 

Caterpillars, Butterflies and Romans, Huh?

I was recently asked to explain the love I have for butterflies and for my life verse, which says, "Do not conform to the patterns of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is, His good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2.  To me, oddly enough these two things go hand in hand. For the record, I am going to come at this as a Believer in Jesus Christ.  If you're not there with me,  just please hang on.

My life has consistently been one of transformation ever since I have known the Lord.  You see, I used to follow the world a lot.  I used to believe the lies that it told me.  The lies that said that I was hopeless, not good enough and unworthy.  It also told lies that money was happiness, success was happiness and that we all deserved so many things.  It said that I deserved to have things my way and that I deserved to be happy. It said that it was okay to be selfish because we are all entitled to whatever we want and we are allowed to act however we feel.   The problem is that what the world says is not truthful and it does not lead to transformation but instead it leads to death and I was buying into it.

This verse in Romans tells us that instead of listening and following the world to have our minds renewed and changed by the truth of God’s word.  The world claims to make life easier and more pleasurable, but this is a lie. The more we listen to the world the less likely we are to hear truth when He speaks.  When we listen to the Lord it is so much easier to understand His will and continue to follow it and Him.  Even when His ways are more difficult, they are so much better.  I know this firsthand.  

So what does all of this have to do with a butterfly? Glad you asked. Well, for starters, a butterfly has the most magnificent transformation ever! They start off as nasty, ugly little caterpillars and end up as beautiful butterflies.  

They do this through the process of transformation.  It’s not a simple process but instead a lengthy and a hard one that challenges their very lives.  When a caterpillar is born it spends the first 2-3 weeks of its life eating non stop.  It literally increases its body mass by a few thousand.  It grows so much that it has to shed its shell several times just to keep up with its own growth.  Then, when it’s ready for its largest growth spurt it attaches itself to a branch and forms a cocoon and hangs there.  

While firmly attached to the branch it does its greatest growing and transforming.  Cue amazingness...It literally starts being chemically disassembled and reconstructed into something entirely new.  Within a few weeks it will fight its way through the tough cocoon and emerge as a beautiful butterfly.  As soon as it takes flight it will find a mate, lay eggs and the process will start all over again.  It’s amazing!

Our journey of transformation should not be too different.  We, like caterpillars, start off in all of our nastiness and ugliness as sinners. When we begin our journey with Christ is when the transformation process begins.  We eat His Word nonstop.  We hunger for it and fill up on it and allow it to grow us.  As we grow we shed some of our old shells, the shells of pride, selfishness, our old ways and old beliefs. The exiting growth we have achieved until this point has prepared us to fight through the next stage of growth.  In order for this new growth to take place, we much attach ourselves to a branch, or better yet to The Vine.  We firmly attach ourselves there while the real work takes place. We hold on for dear life while winds blow, storms come and the fight for transformation occurs.  While we are so rooted in The Vine we conform and change into something that is remarkably unrecognizable.  It is after this process that we finally emerge as something beautiful and magnificent.  

One of the most special parts of this is how much a butterfly must fight to get out of the cocoon.  It is hard work. Many foolish people have cut the cocoons open to help out the struggling butterfly and relieve them from their pain, only to learn that by doing so they have sadly killed the beautiful creature. The truth is that it’s the fight that takes place in the cocoon that helps them live.  That is where their wings get their strength to take flight. Without the process of the fight they emerge with damaged wings that won’t fly and are left to simply die.  The same is true for us, if we quit the fight and cave to the world we too will spiritually die and never be able to fly.  The hard work is purposeful.

Personally, this is what I've always had to remind myself.  My struggles have never been without purpose and they have never been without a Master’s plan.  The fights in my life have never been accidental.  In fact, it has been those very struggles that have allowed me to soar! So yes, I may have started out as a nasty caterpillar that followed the ways of the world seeking pleasure and joy in all the wrong places only to find misery and defeat, BUT I have since ended up as a beautiful butterfly that has fought my way through much transformation simply by holding onto the Vine and never letting go.  

In my whole heart I believe this is what Jesus wants from us and for us.  He wants us to quit listening to the world that offers to cut us out of our struggles.  The problems of this world and the battles for your soul cannot be relieved or won by denial, beauty, mind altering substances, money or fame. Sure, those methods may relieve temporary pain but they also offer a false sense of pleasure that will ultimately destroy us.  It is exhausting to keep going back for more all the time. Instead He wants us to follow His ways that tell us to fight against the lies of the world and to do so by simply holding on tightly to Him, the Vine. He does the transforming work.  Then before you know it we emerge as something magnificent….the likeness of Himself.

As a caterpillar I wanted to be rescued without the work of the battle. I was hopeless, afraid of everything, anxious, defeated and miserable.  I didn't want to bear the transformation process, I just wanted to be the butterfly. Now that I am a butterfly transformed by God I am so grateful for His transformation process. It is because of it that I am now so filled with hope that I cannot resist from overflowing it into the lives of others.  I am still afraid but not overcome by fear, I am no longer anxious over all of the tomorrows, I am never ever defeated and although I may temporarily suffer, I will never again be in permanent misery. 

The thing that changed my life the most was accepting the offer to grab a hold of the Vine. It's an offer that has been given to us all when Jesus paid our debt on the cross. I took it and have been clinging to Him ever since and I hope that you have or will as well. The battle in my personal cocoon was so difficult and took so long but it was also SO worth it and I know yours will be too! So, who's ready to fly?!

   

On the First Day She Felt Happy

The other day I sat down with my girls, now 16 & 17, and went down memory lane.  It began with a dinner conversation of me sharing stories of my school years.  They graciously suffered through it as I shared my stories for what likely felt like the thousandth time. I shared the good days of winning spelling bees, the bad days of running out of my class to hide in a locked car because I was scared of my teacher, and the scary days of taking the wrong bus home and having the police look for me.  Needless to say, I was full of stories.  

I know right now many of you, including myself, are gearing up to or may have already sent your kids off to school. For me, this is such a bittersweet time of year.  It means that another year has passed and my precious, not so little ones anymore, are one step closer to entering this world on their own. I dread the empty nest and yet I know when the time comes my gracious Lord will give me the peace I need.  It is that very kernel of truth I want to share with each of you.

As you send off your little ones entrusting them into the hands of their teachers, their schools and this world, always remember that ultimately it is God's hands you are entrusting them into. It's important that you know that and that your kids see you knowing that.    

As my youngest went off to kindergarten so many years ago, she came home with a note that said "Mommy brought Mackenzie to school on the first day, and she felt happy."  I KNOW this note was not talking about me, because this mommy felt like a hot mess!  I somehow managed to pull up my big girl panties and put the most artificial smile on my face as I kissed her goodbye and told her I loved her.  I then proceeded to briskly walk out to my car and emotionally crumble.  

I know exactly why I crumbled that day and for a few years following. I also know exactly why I no longer crumble (well mostly).  I crumbled because I was the only protection my child had, I crumbled because she needed me, and truth be told, I needed her. I crumbled because only I knew what was best for her. Basically, I crumbled because I was believing a lie. The truth is, that I had no control over any of those things.  And fellow mommies, neither do you. 

No matter what kind of school you choose for your children YOU are not big enough to keep them safe and provide all they need, only HE is.  However, you will be happy to know that He does a far greater job than we can and if you trust Him and allow Him to show you He certainly will.  

So this year fellow moms, take a rest from worry and allow the very One who formed that precious child of yours to continue to hold them in His capable hands. If they got a teacher you don't like, it's okay.  Perhaps this year the teacher got the exact child they need instead of your child getting the exact teacher they need.  Let God use the situation.  If they learn things you don't believe in, communicate with your children. Use those moments to embark upon a solid conversation sharing truth with your child.  If they're not making friends like you hoped, that's okay too.  Allow God to minister to your child as He uses the warm embrace of their mom. Teach your children along the way to trust God with the hard things in life.  Let them learn this with you and through you.  

At the end of the day, you cannot be all things to your child and you cannot protect them from all things in and of this world. However you can direct them to the One who can. Let them know you're not afraid because of how big your God is and they will learn to trust in the same. So this year on that first day of school thank God for bringing you and your child this far.  Thank Him for going before and for remaining during and after.  Embrace the journey He puts you on this year, the good, the bad and the ugly.  None of it is beyond His reach.   

If Momma Ain't Happy

So, my esophagus is shrinking. Exciting huh? Well, not really. Apparently I have some extra tissue that likes to keep forming around my esophagus that makes it close tighter so that food doesn't like to pass.  It can, it just becomes difficult and at times painful.  (BTW, you'd think I'd be thinner but somehow there are no perks with this nastiness). Anyways, long, too much information story short, I had to go under anesthesia to have a balloon blow it up to make it wider so I didn't run into trouble. 

As the doctor was getting ready to put me under he told me to think about something that made me happy.  Without hesitation, I thought of my husband.  Yes, I know this is sweet and sappy, but I wish I could have you understand how genuine it was as well.  My husband truly does make me happy.  Maybe it's because I no longer require that of him like I once did.  I am glad to be free of relying on my husband to be my everything.  That is God's spot and it is so disappointing when you try to give His place to a mortal man.

I've also always been bothered by the whole "If momma ain't happy, nobody's happy" phrase.  The reality is that sometimes if momma ain't happy, she needs to suck it up and get over it. Life isn't always about momma's happiness like I once thought it was. The truth is, if I had successfully transformed my husband into a man that desired to constantly make me happy at all costs I doubt that he would have been my first choice to think about that made me happy.  

In creating a man whose main concern was my happiness, I would have helped shape him into something he wasn't supposed to be.  I would have taken away his leadership. I would have taken away his ability to do what was good for me as opposed to what I wanted.  I would have created a weak father/spoiled daughter relationship and who the heck wants that?! I'd much rather have a man who cared more about my spiritual and personal growth and well being than for my temporal happiness. And when he stands up to me to do what is right and good for me and our family, well friends, turns out, that is what makes me happy.  Perhaps in the moment of not getting what I want I'm less than thrilled, but having a man who loves me enough to look out for me is worth it.  We look out for each other and although happiness is not our goal, it becomes more abundant. 

I started off our marriage seeking happiness and I hated (and I mean hated) when it couldn't be found.  I wanted my way and every time he originally gave it to me even when I should not have had it, he fed my whining tendencies, and let's be honest, there are no happy whiners. The need to always have what you want in life is exhausting.  So today, I am grateful for a man who doesn't always make me happy but instead always shows me what I need.  Learning to find joy in life despite always getting your way is awesome. Having a husband to trust with your well being is awesome too.  He helps me grow.

 

At the end of the day, having my esophagus stretched  was not something I wanted and by all means did not make me happy.  In fact. if I went with what made me happy I'd eventually end up in the ER with emergency surgery getting a piece of steak removed from my throat!  And guess what, it was my husband that made me finally call my doctor after months of putting it off and yes, that did irritate me. But because of that, yes, that man does make me happy.  He makes me happy because he loves me enough to put my needs above my emotions.  Maybe it's time you had a talk with your own spouse.  Give them a break from carrying the burden of your happiness around. It's not a job they can ever accomplish, nor is it something you would even want them to. When happiness is the ultimate goal, misery will consistently be the outcome. 

  

big Dog LITTLE Dog

We currently have the, well, let's just say pleasure of enjoying some time with our daughter's 6 month old Labradoodle, Boomer (named very appropriately as everywhere he goes you hear BOOM!).  He's not the most coordinated of dogs. However I will say that his personality is precious, he just needs to grow into himself a little...or a lot. 

You see, Boomer has a size problem.  He's a big dog and has no idea that he is.  He tries to fit under tv trays and onto your lap and he squeezes himself into very tight spaces all the time.  Spacial issues however, are the least of his worries.  We also have a dog, a Jack Russell named Barklee. Like Boomer, Barklee also has size problems. He is a little dog who thinks he is a big dog. 

The problem for both of them arises because they have a relationship that is based purely on Barklee, the little dog's standards.  If he wants to play, they play, if he doesn't  they don't.  Barklee is also a corralling kind of dog and he does not let Boomer out of his sight before he runs after him and leads him where he would like him to be.  Oddly enough this works.  Boomer is indeed at the mercy of Barklee and it is quite amusing and puzzling to watch this monster of a dog bow down to a little pip squeak of a dog.  This situation begs me to ponder.

I am someone who has always had an issue with fear.  Fear has always felt like the BIG dog in my life but through the years I have discovered that it's not, nor has it ever been.  I sat there watching Boomer cower to this little dog all the while thinking, "Boomer, you are bigger than him, don't let him do that to you!", and then I thought of my own life and realized how long I was deceived into thinking I was the little dog too.

I watch Boomer constantly look over his shoulder for Barklee to be on the prowl. I watch him leave a toy that he loves behind so Barklee could have it and I watch him completely change directions and head somewhere else because Barklee was lurking. Wow, I was Boomer!  I constantly evaluated every situation and bowed my knee to fear.  I let it steal things I love from me and I changed directions in my life and headed the opposite way, all because fear said so.  All because I believed that fear was the bigger dog.

Dear friends, let me tell you, I have battled most of my life with fear and it used to control me like a scared Labradoodle but it no longer has that power.  You see, I have learned that fear is nothing more than a yippee little dog. Sure it can bite and may sting, but the truth is, I am the bigger dog and when I have the power of Christ in me (which is always), He is the really BIG dog! Fear can yip and follow me around all it wants but I can trump it every time.  It may not leave me alone but I can certainly put it in it's place.

So, for my fellow scaredy cats, here's the truth on fear. It is big enough to impact your emotions and make you feel afraid BUT it is not big enough to keep you from moving forward, nor is it as big as it wants you to believe. Believe it or not, even with fear barking in your face you can still just DO THINGS AFRAID! Don't let this little dog nip at your heels anymore, bite back! Face it and tell it that you have finally realized just how big you are. You may not be able to get it to leave you alone but you can certainly kick it out of the drivers seat of your life. 

So will you join me in setting yourself free? Do things afraid...it will change your life! And remember, in most cases Fear is simply False Evidence Appearing Real! Don't be scared to call it's bluff!  
    

You Know You're 40 When...

By nature I have always been a bit of a “glass half empty” kind of girl. I have a logical mind and am pretty much a realist.  As I've grown in my faith and in wisdom I've learned to become a bit more of a “glass half full” kind of girl.  I have learned that it was far more beneficial for my attitude (and let’s be honest, and for the happiness of those around me).  Lately though, as I've entered into my forties I've realized I've become more of a “where the heck did I leave my glass” kind of girl.  And let me tell you, it’s a shock to my once organized, in the details mind. It’s annoying and it’s hysterical. 

The blessing in it all is that through this transition I've learned that I get to choose which one it will be, fully acknowledging that some days the choice is easier than others.  Still as a result I've found it to be much more tolerable to be positive. So to encourage my fellow forty somethings, here's a little bit of comedic relief to offer you perhaps a new perspective of the unavoidable changes in life.

Yes, it is annoying when you get to church and realize upon crossing your legs that only one of them got shaved, or perhaps find that conditioner was still left in your hair, BUT think of all the extra time you saved that allowed you to look for your keys.

Yes, it’s annoying when you have to try on 8 pairs of pants to find one that fits BUT I am confident that all that one legged hopping around and squatting to stretch them out has to be worth at least the 600 calories worth of ice cream you will eat that night.

Yes, it’s annoying when you forget where you hid things so your children wouldn't find them BUT this way you get to celebrate Christmas year round! The kids always love a mid-summer sweater or scarf still in its bag with tags on.

Yes, it's annoying that you now can't read without glasses for farsightedness But at least you get to go into denial about that long hair you can't see in the mirror that is growing on your chin.

Yes, it’s annoying when you are scheduled for one medical test after the other BUT it is kind of fun to say words that end with “opy”…endoscopy, laparoscopy, colonoscopy.  You can almost create a fun little riddle or jingle. And, opy is easy to remember so technically you can just add it on to the end of whatever word you choose and most people will not even know the difference.

Yes it’s annoying to accept the reality of never being able to jump on a trampoline again BUT let’s be real who can really afford anymore co pays anyway?

Yes, it’s annoying to have hormonal waves of anxiety and irritability BUT…BUT…well, I've got nothing for this one let's just go with yes, it is annoying!

Yes, it’s annoying when you forget to pick up your children and they are left stranded for an extra hour, BUT it’s so beneficial for them to learn to appreciate that at least they didn't have to walk 5 miles up a hill to school every day in the snow.

Finally, yes it’s annoying to literally forget everything BUT to finally learn that life still goes on when you are not in control of everything is invaluable.

At the end of the day dear friends, despite the similarity between turning 40 and running into a brick wall, life will always be what you make it. So I say, laugh till you pee, strut the extra 10lbs of belly fat, let go of all that you forget and enjoy what you do remember,  rock the one shaved leg, and appreciate the excitement in finding all the random things you've misplaced throughout the year (well except the milk in the cupboard, that’s never good).  Enjoy the ride friends, enjoy the ride! 40 is beautiful!!!

Blind Eye

It's not always easy being gifted with mercy.  I cry at every movie, tv show or commercial involving anything with pain, puppies or children leaving for college. I also grieve with people, I hurt when they hurt and I sometimes find myself desperately searching for ways to help when there simply are none. My gift of mercy is also coupled with a very passionate personality and if something touches my heart it becomes very difficult for me to leave it alone. And today, once again an issue I am passionate about has touched my heart...Human Trafficking.

This article showed up today and it grieves my heart. http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/07/29/fbi-rescues-at-least-105-child-prostitutes-in-nationwide-undercover-operation/ This is unacceptable my friends.  Children on OUR streets, the streets of a free nation, being sold for sex. We're not talking about Cambodia or Kenya, we're talking about Atlanta, Charlotte, Tampa.  Trust me, I also have much to say about the same issue in foreign countries. 

This should outrage us but I have to ask why it doesn't?  

I believe everyone of us reading this article and this blog would find the act of sex slavery despicable.  So why is it so easy to turn a blind eye to it?  In my view, I believe it's because we feel so separated from it. But are we? Sure, we're not buying these girls, nor are we selling them, but perhaps as a nation we are giving this industry its roots and and it's fuel...and I believe we are doing that, with dare I say it, pornography.

Do you realize that as a nation we spend more on porn than it would cost to end world hunger?  Sex slavery exists like every other business because of supply and demand and we are creating that very demand.

A sweet young friend of mine recently went on a trip to Cambodia to fight against this issue as she served in a home that rescued girls as young as 5. Yes, 5. Here's what she had to say in her blog, "It is no secret in Cambodia that sex is a big thing that the Westerners want. Most of the time, it is safe to assume that a Western, white man with a younger Khmer girl is only using her for that evening. It is sickening". You can read more at http://bemymagnificentobsession.blogspot.com/2013/06/what-its-like.html

Young rescued girls of Cambodia

For something that seems so innocent and personal, it isn't.  It's demoralizing and objectifying to a woman. It's easy to click on a link, pick up a magazine or enter a club, but I have to ask, would it still be easy if you knew that woman was a daughter, a once little girl who used to play dress up, play with dolls and have big dreams?  Or maybe a girl who was thrown out like trash by a family who didn't know how or even desire to care for her? Perhaps even a little one innocently playing and then being snatched up by a predator. Do you think it would be as easy to look at her if you were able to see her heart as well as her body?  A heart, raw and broken believing she is nothing, unlovable or useless. Well, I don't. 

What else does pornography do? It dehumanizes people and it deceives them.  It also kills marriages and relationships. It no longer sits hidden under a mattress or in a drawer, it comes to you, straight to your inbox and through your television. It removes all value to the peered upon one and it deceives the onlooker. I have never met a woman who had big dreams to become involved with porn, nor have I ever met a man who sought out to become addicted to it. But yet, they both happen. Every. Single. Day.  Let's not even discuss the chemical changes it creates in your body causing an ever increasing demand for more and for different.  Yes, there are sick predators in this world, but there are also normal every day people who have become so chemically altered and addicted that are doing far more offensive things than they ever could have imagined...thus the leap from porn to sex slavery.

As much as I could go on, I will close with this. I'm not naive to think that everyone reading this is immune to the deception of porn.  It may very well be an issue within your own home. I'm also not naive enough to think that everyone will share my views and in fact, some may very well find me extreme. However, if porn has made it's way in your home, would you consider kicking it out? Even if you feel it's harmless, there's nothing, absolutely nothing positive it will add.  Let's not be known as the nation that feeds the selling of young girls and spends billions on pornographic materials. Also, if you find me too conservative, well, that's ok. I'm a mother of 3 daughters who would give her life for them and if I know there are daughters out there in the world who need me, well then, here I am. Told ya that gift of mercy is a difficult one!

So, let's not turn a blind eye to the issue of sex slavery but instead go ahead and turn a blind eye to pornography and quit viewing it. 

PS. Not to self promote, just a passion for the issue, if you or a spouse does indeed have a problem please seek the help . We'd be honored to walk alongside you at www.firstcarecc.com . Not sure if it's a problem in your life, explore that here http://www.xxxchurch.com/

       

Once Again

Once again I am astounded by the grace of my husband.  Well after his normal time to leave for work in the morning he reappears into our bedroom. Apparently his delay in going to work was because of his venture looking for his shoes.  After a brief discussion it came to be known that I had accidentally sold them at our garage sale this weekend.  Um, does oops cover that?  And, did I mention that his favorite pair of shoes were sold for a mere $2?  Yikes!

The night before I had washed all the shoes that we were going to sell (in response to what my husband likes to refer to as my department store garage sale). I guess I had noticed his shoes needed washing as well so I lumped them in with all the rest.  Long story short, they made it into the sell pile and were gone right away (duh, awesome shoes for $2!).  Instantly upon this revelation I felt awful and instantly I was also ready to defend myself.  Want to know why I didn't? I didn't because of the graciousness of my husband.  There he stood, shoeless, late for work with a wife who had sold his shoes right out from under him and is all he has to say is " That's okay baby" and then proceeds to give me a kiss, put on some old shoes and head out the door. In this moment I realize that how he responded is not even close to how I would have responded had he sold my favorite shoes. Better yet, I later get a text from him telling me that they are just shoes, he probably need a new pair anyway and appreciating that I noticed they were dirty and washed them. Such humbling, convicting  and yet soothing words to a wanna be defensive heart.

So my friends, as I ponder again today I know that once again the grace of my husband has changed me. It has been his patience and grace throughout the years that has changed me, strengthened our marriage and made him my best friend and biggest role model. You see, when I came into our marriage I was hot headed, quick to speak and quick to anger. My guard was always up and I had justifications and defenses within arms reach all the time. As much as I was prepared for battle he consistently met my rage with patience and love, and a few firm boundaries. 

All of this just reminds me of how powerful grace can be.  His grace upon me led me to stew in my anger and get uncomfortable enough to change. If he fought back it would feed my justifications and give me motive to keep fighting. Instead he just met my anger with patience.  Let me tell you, it is no fun being the angered one with no self-control next to the strong, patient one.  Every single time his grace causes me to reflect on  my own behavior and on my own heart.  His grace re-directs my sense of justification, entitlement and selfishness....every.single.time. I hate the way it makes me feel and yet I love it.  I hate it because it screams that I am wrong or out of control, it highlights my flaws. I love it because it changes me.

As for my husband, I sold his favorite shoes and he forgave me without blinking an eye. I 
spent years yelling, fighting and complaining and he held firm in love and showed me the way to self-control and humility.  As for my God, I let Him down every single day and He meets my shortcomings with His grace. I led a life of sin and selfishness and He met that with His perfect life being penalized to the fullest on a cross of crucifixion.  I will never lead a sinless life and yet He always meets me with His grace. Always.  My dear friends, this should change us.  "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners Christ died for us" Romans 5:8 

Let His grace today cause you to reflect on your own life.  Let it cause your heart to soften and desire to become more like Him.  Grace is not a trait of the meek and mild, it is a trait of the loving, the powerful and the strong.  Get it, grow in it and give it. 

Lastly, for the record I did manage to save my husband's favorite childhood picnic blanket! 

     

Watch Me Mom!!

I began my day today sitting poolside and enjoying the sun.  I have entered the stage of life where I can simply lounge without chasing a toddler or keeping the eyes in the back of my head on alert, which is good because I'm pretty sure those eyes now need bifocals.  Anyways, I miss my little babies, but dear friends, these are some long awaited for moments that I am not ever going to give up.  Trust me, I have earned them. 

In these moments I typically choose not to listen to music and instead enjoy all that's going on around me.  I suppose it's my pondering gene that enjoys such observing.  Well today it was as if I did have music playing as I listened to the constant chorus of "Watch me Mom, watch me"! Oh, I so remember those days.  I remember begging my mom to watch me and I remember all three of my little ones doing the same.  I remember yelling to my dad before going up the ladder of the high dive at the Elks' Lodge.  I remember dutifully watching all three of my bathing beauties as they flipped over and over (and over and over) again under water repeating "watch me, watch me"!  It is this phrase that begs me to wonder what's really behind it.

I believe what every child is longing for in the "watch me" moment is a "good job" or an "I'm so proud of you".  Not because they executed the perfect underwater somersault or completely straight legged cartwheel, but because they tried and wanted you to witness it.  As I reflected over some responses I've previously heard to this common poolside phrase and also some I have previously given myself, I can see where the mark has been missed by us parents. A desperate and excited "watch me" results in an aggravated "not now", or a dishonest "I see" after not paying any attention whatsoever, or maybe even the dreaded lecture on what they could have done better.  

As our children grow up they never outgrow the desire to exclaim "watch me"! It just manages to look different through the years.  As my own teenagers grow they no longer yell for me to watch them on the high dive but instead I get glimpses of them checking just to see if I am.  Children long to be approved of by their parents and I believe we have come to a place where we have greatly underestimated their need for our approval, that is our approval despite their performance.  We now seem to approve as long as it is perfect or even good and if it meets our standards. If not, we tend to correct.

We need to go back to the day where we appreciated  a good ol' failure.  After all, failures teach us some of our most valuable lessons.  They shape and mold us.  They teach us to fight and overcome, they thicken our skin.  Wasn't it those skinned knees that helped us stay on our bikes when we all learned to ride? They also teach us humility.  They say, so what if you didn't get a trophy, you're value is not dependent upon that. You lost, learn from it, and move on. We need to remember that our children will fail and when they do we still need to be their number one fan instead of becoming their number one critic.  

Whatever stage of parenting you are in or will be in soon, keep in mind that your kids will, beyond a shadow of a doubt, fail.  Prepare yourself now to say good job (and mean it) to the B, or for that matter, heaven forbid, the C your child brings home on a report card with their "hesitant watch me face".  It may very well be their best. Determine if it is before you lecture or require more.  After all, your child's grades help us as parents direct them in the right way in life.  Let their seeking our approval be a valuable resource instead of a feared "I did it wrong again" message.  Let them fail a test, miss a goal, forget the moves at a dance recital, or whatever it is.   

Praise their strengths and be gracious in their weaknesses.  Don't become the parent of a child who feels as if they are never enough, is overwhelmed by the stress of perfection, or the one who feels as if it is their performance that earns your love. Teach them to embrace their failures and in turn you will remove the pressure of performance based approval.  This is exactly what our Heavenly Father does. He says  to come just as we are.  He says He loves us just as we are and He forgives us for our failures time and time again.  Isn't this the message we want to give our children?  Isn't that the kind of parent we want to be?  Having a broken child who has failed be able to turn to you as a place of encouragement or comfort is life changing for your child.  In the same way, the goal is for that same child to one day acknowledge their sin and turn to their Heavenly Father broken and not good enough.  Don't raise a child who must get it all together and be perfect to be approved of or loved.  Those children won't run into the arms of Jesus, instead they will keep scrambling their way through life trying to obtain a perfection that simply isn't achievable. 

So parents, listen to your kids and by all means, do watch them.  Study them, know their strengths and help them identify them, know their weakness and know which ones to work on and which ones to accept and move on from. Our goal is not for them to become the best instead it's for them to become who God created them to be. They need us, always have and always will and most importantly they need Jesus.    

Lessons From My Yard

I am a ponderer.  Sometimes its a blessing that breathes fresh life to my soul and sometimes it's the death of me that breeds anxiety and leaves me with the woulda, shoulda, coulda syndrome.  Today it was a blessing.

For the first time in over 2 months I was able to hop on the good ol' rider mower and take it for a spin in the back yard.  I've always loved mowing the lawn for several reasons.  It brings back memories of me and my dad at his lake house.  We spent time mowing the lawn together so our chairs could sit at the point of the lake where we fished without having our legs itch from the high grass.  Ooh, and the smell, there's something about the aroma of fresh cut grass that gives you that Saturday morning kind of feeling.  I'm also a fan of clean lines, and quite frankly there's nothing like a freshly mowed and edged yard for that.  Lastly, and probably my favorite, mowing allows me to ponder.  The loud, constant roar of the mower just clears my head and allows my mind to wander.  I have really missed my mower after these long weeks of recovery from an ankle surgery. And today, I just couldn't wait to take her out for a spin.

My husband, on the other hand, is not a lover of the lawn.  He could care less about clean lines and has no need to edge a yard (oh the travesty!).  He's a genius in everything else and is always my go to guy.  I totally appreciate all the other areas where he is strong.  The lawn, however, is simply not one of them. Now, before I mislead you, I am a mower of the lawn, not an arborist or a gardener.  My thumb is hardly green.  It really just comes down to the relaxation and the clean lines. 

So, all that being said, let me share with you some of what the lawn has taught me today.  

Lesson 1. Grow where you are planted! Reach for the Son!

You see this tree? 

Well, it's a good tree, granted I've forgotten what kind, but I do know we bought it and we planted it on purpose.  Clearly we planted it improperly.  We assumed that our tree would get the sun it needed in the spot we chose, turns out we were wrong.  Our poor little tree has been so desperate for the sun that it has literally bent itself in half and is growing sideways.  I can't bear to move it because I so appreciate its effort.  Today, this tree has reminded me that as long as I am reaching for the Son that it really doesn't matter where I am planted.  Sometimes we get uprooted and moved around to places that are darker than we would like, BUT, just like this little tree seems to know, the Son is always there to be found.  If we reach for the Son then we will be nourished and provided for even if it means we have to grow sideways for a while. "So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow" 1 Corinthians 3:7 

Lesson 2. Do not be deceived.  Sin duplicates itself quicker than you think.

Now, do you see this tree? 

This is a Mimosa tree.  Look at those beautiful flowers, so rich and so full, right?  Wrong, this is a deceptive tree. The beauty of this tree is a distraction.  It keeps you from noticing that it is dropping little seeds all over that are re-birthing trees just like it all over your yard.  

It doesn't take long for these little duplicates to choke out all of the truly beautiful trees you desire. This here Mimosa is a sin tree.  It's deceiving, attractive and appears as if it is something that you want.  It doesn't provide beauty, it provides extra work and many challenges. Uproot this bad boy and get it out of your yard but be mindful that as soon as you do you can be sure there are more lurking.  Stay on guard and do not let Mimosas over run your yard and do not let sin over run your life.  Uproot them ASAP because they breed and multiply before you ever even realize the seed has been planted.  " Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows". Galatians 6:7

Lesson 3. There is not much appreciation in things unearned.  After all, look how much we take His grace for granted?

This picture speaks for itself.  

Although the sweet berries are not ripe, they soon will be.  As sweet and delicious as they are I can not just jump right in and grab them.  I have to work my way to them through the thorns.  Just like in life, the sweet things usually must be earned. Entitlement says they are ours for the taking but appreciation comes when we've earned them. "And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him". Colossians 3:17

Lesson 4.  Remain in the Vine and your garden will bear fruit.

Ooh, this one's a little embarrassing but also speaks for itself. 

(Now keep in mind, I've been post op for over 2 months).  A garden unkempt dies and grows weeds.  The same is true for our families and our marriages.  If we never fertilize them, water them or pull out the weeds they too will eventually die. Gardens are no joke, they require work if you want some fruit. The same goes for our marriages, if you want to reap a harvest you better get busy sowing the seeds!  "Abide in me, and I in you.  As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me" John 15:4. 

Lesson 5. If you are in Christ, you are made brand new! 

This is our new addition to our deck.

Brand new wood sticks out like a sore thumb, especially when it's next to the old decking. Uhhh, shocker! It's supposed to!  When we are made new we also should be set apart.  That's the beauty of the design.  It is in our newness that the world can see it's own need to be made new. If the new wood looked like the old then we'd never even know it was new! Same goes with our lives. "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here"! 2 Corinthians 5:17

And finally...

Bonus Lesson. Appreciate your non clean line loving spouse!

My hubby may not love the lawn but the man can rock a grill! Thanks babe for tolerating my clean line crazies!