Once Again

Once again I am astounded by the grace of my husband.  Well after his normal time to leave for work in the morning he reappears into our bedroom. Apparently his delay in going to work was because of his venture looking for his shoes.  After a brief discussion it came to be known that I had accidentally sold them at our garage sale this weekend.  Um, does oops cover that?  And, did I mention that his favorite pair of shoes were sold for a mere $2?  Yikes!

The night before I had washed all the shoes that we were going to sell (in response to what my husband likes to refer to as my department store garage sale). I guess I had noticed his shoes needed washing as well so I lumped them in with all the rest.  Long story short, they made it into the sell pile and were gone right away (duh, awesome shoes for $2!).  Instantly upon this revelation I felt awful and instantly I was also ready to defend myself.  Want to know why I didn't? I didn't because of the graciousness of my husband.  There he stood, shoeless, late for work with a wife who had sold his shoes right out from under him and is all he has to say is " That's okay baby" and then proceeds to give me a kiss, put on some old shoes and head out the door. In this moment I realize that how he responded is not even close to how I would have responded had he sold my favorite shoes. Better yet, I later get a text from him telling me that they are just shoes, he probably need a new pair anyway and appreciating that I noticed they were dirty and washed them. Such humbling, convicting  and yet soothing words to a wanna be defensive heart.

So my friends, as I ponder again today I know that once again the grace of my husband has changed me. It has been his patience and grace throughout the years that has changed me, strengthened our marriage and made him my best friend and biggest role model. You see, when I came into our marriage I was hot headed, quick to speak and quick to anger. My guard was always up and I had justifications and defenses within arms reach all the time. As much as I was prepared for battle he consistently met my rage with patience and love, and a few firm boundaries. 

All of this just reminds me of how powerful grace can be.  His grace upon me led me to stew in my anger and get uncomfortable enough to change. If he fought back it would feed my justifications and give me motive to keep fighting. Instead he just met my anger with patience.  Let me tell you, it is no fun being the angered one with no self-control next to the strong, patient one.  Every single time his grace causes me to reflect on  my own behavior and on my own heart.  His grace re-directs my sense of justification, entitlement and selfishness....every.single.time. I hate the way it makes me feel and yet I love it.  I hate it because it screams that I am wrong or out of control, it highlights my flaws. I love it because it changes me.

As for my husband, I sold his favorite shoes and he forgave me without blinking an eye. I 
spent years yelling, fighting and complaining and he held firm in love and showed me the way to self-control and humility.  As for my God, I let Him down every single day and He meets my shortcomings with His grace. I led a life of sin and selfishness and He met that with His perfect life being penalized to the fullest on a cross of crucifixion.  I will never lead a sinless life and yet He always meets me with His grace. Always.  My dear friends, this should change us.  "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners Christ died for us" Romans 5:8 

Let His grace today cause you to reflect on your own life.  Let it cause your heart to soften and desire to become more like Him.  Grace is not a trait of the meek and mild, it is a trait of the loving, the powerful and the strong.  Get it, grow in it and give it. 

Lastly, for the record I did manage to save my husband's favorite childhood picnic blanket!